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June 7, 2009

that.time.of.the.month.AGAIN

E-M-O. And I need chocolates to keep my endorphin level high enough to beat my stress level.

I couldn't sleep well last night (really thanks to the somebody). Kept wake up through out the night. I really clueless about all these and stuck in no where. And I start thinking about what I really want. I was okay when I was consulting san san but KO after that.

I think I should blame it to "that-time-of-the-month" which making me E-M-O E-M-O.

People who know me well, they surely know how much I hate about uncertainties but the fact is that when you are getting older and older (Yay, I'm old d, 24 in counting), you will understand things will never go the way you wish all the time. I always remember the conversation between me & Michael years back:

Michael: Who do you think you are? Why you think you will get all you want?
Caroline: Because I'm CAROLINE! *SOL*

Haha! Now, I will definitely won't say it anymore. Time passed and Caroline grew. I start to understand, it is not all the time you will get what you want and way you want it to be. Just relax and stay chill. Life is short.

Correct! Life is short. I had nightmare last night. I dreamed of my cousin who passed away months ago. This incident still giving a deep pain to my family. Life is always unfair. What to do? (Hehe me and Matthew always say that) Live your life happily as possible. That's why I always try my best to get what I want, if I still can't get it, I won't regret cause I had already put in my best efforts ;)

I'm reading a novel name, Eat. Pray. Love., by Elizabeth Gilbert. She is very success in her career, relationship and everything BUT deep in her heart, she knows she wants something else. And here she started her journey of pursuing what she really want deep inside her heart. (So like me, I know you gonna say shame shame, don't care!)





I am clear what I want though I always giving people an illusion that I am god damn blur. Hehe! I enjoy it! As long as I know what I want and what am I doing, who care! I told san san, when you are sad and feel uncertain, start thinking about your dreams, it will give you the strength to carry on your life no matter how big the obstacle is front of you.

Cheers, Carol!ne. Enjoy you E-M-O! Mama said learn to appreciate every little single thing is the way to live happy all the times.

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