6th April 2008, Sunday
You might be enjoying this Sunday as any Sundays. But this is the day I wish it wouldn't be coming ... It is the day to say "Goodbye" and I really no ideas when we gonna meet. Maybe, this is the last. Two of us might going on our own path and will never meet. How?? I know I am not that cold-blooded type so I am going to miss you a lot a lot (for the first few days) then treat you very cool again, ignoring your resistant .. yea, is my way to protect myself.
I know I am selfish but I really hate this kind of situation just like how much I don't like about uncertainties. Since there is no future, what for I still want to step in?! I can't take that pain, never again, never (I keep telling myself).
Actually I am not that strong enough to deal with this sort of situation. The most useful tool I used is ignoring, let time pass and lessen my miss ... But it is not a good healing way. I have made up my mind to go Singapore and I really need to be very firm with my decision. Career is important for me and it will always be the second place after my family.
Why you are not in my consideration list? Hmm ... as we two know, this is not going to work, a lot of no-no and uncertainties so what for still ... God always have the arrangement for you. Maybe, perhaps, we can still keep as what it is.
Crying? Yea, I really feel like crying, heart feeling pain ... when woke up this morning. But my tears ... don't know why Caroline has forgotten how to cry for this type of situation.
STOP!!! Cheers up, my dear Caroline!! I am going to be fine SOOOOON!! Nothing to be sad about, treasure the memories .. live happily ...
Dar dar, thanks you so much for all these times. Thanks for your helpful advices and supports. Do take good good care of yourself there. Don't be so naughty anymore. So po going to miss so lou a lot a lot o!! You too, must miss me ya ... *huggies and kisses*
Tears are coming down ...
Should I really put it an end?! No ideas. This is the only way I should and must do T_T
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